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The Job…I mean Career Fair

Welcome to day 1 of Charles’ Unemployment Blog. I, like millions of frustrated and angry Americans around this country have been unemployed for quite some time now!! And boy what an adventure it’s been so far! From the day my punk ass boss handed me my layoff letter with the plastic smile etched across his face, to the very day that I am now sitting in a public library writing this blog on my old Intel Celeron, I can tell you it’s been quite a tumultuous and often times hilarious journey.

So I recently attended a career fair put on by an “e magazine” called bestjobsmagazine in the rural inland valley city of Ontario. A blue collar paradise snuggled somewhere in California. Before I proceed, do not think I in any way represent this company nor is this a shameless plug, it’s more of an open critique (or blasting) of the job fair they just held in a city with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country (barring any place in Michigan of course).

So to get back on track…this company (bestjobsmagazine) boasts certain things that other job posting websites don’t have..1) live free assistance in your job search with a live online rep 2) interactive job searches and 3) live expert assistance (or did I already mention that). So how productive was the job…err I mean career fair!?? Well, apparently the difference between a job fair and a career fair is a job fair is more or less a dropping off of resumes to prospective employers, on a booth by booth basis. Bestjobsmagazines’ definition of a career fair is the following……

The hopeful unemployed person (namely me) confidently ambles into the smelly lobby of a hotel and walks into a large gathering of confused and defeated men and women who don’t seem to have a clue to where they are going and what’s going on. There are no representatives in sight…..actually, there is one lady who is sporting a small, hard to read name badge plastered on her brown corduroy jacket. I politely sift through the slumped shoulders of men and women fixed in front of her booth and ask her where and when the meet and greet aka networking session is going to begin. She flashes me a generic smile before stating, “Sir, please patiently step aside as our welcome session will be starting soon, and here are a couple of forms to look at while you wait.”

The forms were all BestJobsMagazine Propoganda, loose leaf papers plastered with their company name along with paragraphs that stylishly convey all the wonderful things their website can do in order to find you work in only 30 days!!!!! Wow, I’ve never been a cynic, in fact I’m somewhat of an optimist even in the midst of my current set of circumstances, but finding a job in 30 days seems somewhat of an ambitious statement. I wanted to see if this was true!!!!

Finally, a short and stocky Persian fella named Fred walked into the room with dauntless precision and in a thick yet coherent accent he loudly bellowed, “Okay folks, everyone follow me as the session is going to start in 2 minutes”!!! And we all followed suit, literally, like unsuspecting cattle being led to slaughter. I was immediately doubtful about Fred, he had on a horrible green tie with brown stripes that clashed with his navy blue suit and his gestures were over pronounced, and exaggerated. I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. See what he had to say about finding a job in 30 days.

The room was jam packed with middle aged men and women from all walks of life. Black Men, White Women, White Men in their 30s, 40s, and 50’s, Asians, and Latinos. The face of American Unemployment was more diverse than any other group I had ever seen. Was this the face of Change Barack had talked about in his speeches?? There were not enough chairs to support all the forgotten remnants of jobs past. Many people were stuck leaning against the wall, their brief cases hanging from their shoulders.
I could go on for days about what Fred spoke about in the session. Most of which seemed to be extracted from a couple of self help books you could buy at your local Barnes and Nobles for 19.99. Okay, so maybe most Americans aren’t privy to things like you should have a professional do your resume, don’t EVER throw out a desired salary to an employer, yada yada yada. I did stump him with the “how to pass the personal assessment tests” question which generated a rather canned response. But, All in All I wasn’t very impressed. I was even less impressed that they offered a course for 99 BUCKS that would take place at the end of the free preliminary session for out of work Americans looking for work…huh??!! Was this career fair for part time workers looking to secure a full time job?? Who can throw away 99 bucks in an already feeble economy!? That was like the blood donor asking for his blood back…..tasteless if you ask me.

Oh, and Fred wasn’t available for autographs after his 2 “self help” speeches but he did manage to brush off a couple of desperate job seekers inquiring about employment opportunities with him. What a Sham!!!

As for the empty job booths…well that’s a whole nother story, or scam I should say. Basically, the “unemployed” patrons were asked to place their resume on a table with a stack of other resumes, and afterwards cross their fingers in the hope that an employer calls them back. As I looked around at the companies or organizations that actually had a human being present (LAPD, National Guard, University of Phoenix) I wondered, is this still the land of opportunity or the land of the opportunist? Thanks BestJobsMagazine, I can always look forward to getting shot up in a dark cave in Afghanistan, writing parking tickets or pursuing an online masters degree in nursing when the going gets tougher in the coming weeks.

Charles Ellison..AKA T.P.O The Phenomenal “Unemployed” One

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